Best Gifts for Dad-to-Be

There is no shelf, which is why nobody buys

Start with the diagnosis, because it is more interesting than the usual explanation and it points straight at the answer. The father-to-be gets very little, and people generally put this down to a social attitude - that the mother is the one going through it, that the man is peripheral, that he does not need anything. Those explanations are mostly retrofitted. The real cause is much duller and much more fixable: there is no shelf. Go into any shop for this occasion, online or physical, and the architecture is identical everywhere. There is an enormous baby section. There is a smaller section for the mother, usually built around bath products, robes and hampers. And there is nothing at all addressed to the father, not even a badly stocked corner. A gift category that has no shelf does not get browsed, does not get suggested, does not appear in a search result and does not occur to anybody standing in an aisle with fifteen minutes to spare. The purchase is not declined. It is never prompted. Which means the whole problem is solved by knowing what to buy before you arrive, and the way to know that is to look at what his weeks actually consist of rather than what a gift shop imagines they consist of. In the months before a first baby, a father-to-be is doing a fairly specific set of things. He is driving - to scans, to appointments, to her mother's house, to shops for items that have become urgent, and to the hospital eventually. He is carrying things, up stairs, into a flat that is running out of room. He is waiting, in corridors and car parks, for appointments that run late. He is fielding logistics and being asked how she is by everybody he meets, which is correct but means almost nobody asks how he is. And afterwards he is doing all of that again with less sleep. Notice that the car appears in that list three times. This is why the single most useful gift for a father-to-be is the one that almost nobody thinks of, because it does not live on any shelf either. A hanging car perfume at four hundred and forty-nine to five hundred and nine rupees is addressed to the space where a large part of the next year will actually happen. Jasmine is four hundred and forty-nine, Lavender and Sandalwood four hundred and seventy-nine, Icy Mint four hundred and eighty-nine, Lemon four hundred and ninety-nine, Vetiver, Sea Breeze and Oud five hundred and nine. Two-piece combinations run from eight hundred and ninety-nine - Jasmine with Lemon or Jasmine with Lavender at eight hundred and ninety-nine, Oud with Lemon or Sandalwood with Oud at nine hundred and forty-nine. There is also a 15ml refill range at three hundred and ninety-nine to four hundred and forty-nine if he already has a holder, and a car perfume spray in Mysore Orange Blossom at five hundred and forty-nine, or a discovery set of three at six hundred and ninety-nine if you want him to find his own register. The car gift works for a reason that goes beyond practicality: it is the only space in his life that is still entirely his, and it is about to become the place where he sits alone for twenty minutes before going inside. A gift that improves that is not a small thing. The personal options are the second route, and they suit this recipient better than they suit most men because of the format rather than the fragrance. An alcohol-free attar at three hundred and seventy-nine to three hundred and ninety-nine rupees is a 12ml glass roll-on of undiluted perfume oil with no alcohol carrier. It opens quietly and stays within an arm's length rather than projecting, which is the right behaviour for somebody who will spend a lot of the next year in close quarters with people - in cars, in waiting rooms, at home. Nawaab at three hundred and ninety-nine is the most obviously masculine of the four, a white oud composition built with Mysore sandalwood and Kashmir saffron rather than a dehn al oud distillate, which is worth saying rather than letting the word oud stand for something it is not. Ameeri at three hundred and eighty-five is Taif rose with Indian sandalwood and reads warmer and more traditional. Adaa at three hundred and seventy-nine is bergamot, green cardamom, jasmine sambac and white musk. A solid perfume at four hundred and fifty-nine to five hundred and forty-nine rupees is the format that suits his actual life best, and it is the gift most likely to be used daily. Fifteen grams of alcohol-free balm in a flat compact, applied with a finger. It cannot spill in a bag or a glovebox, there is no cap to unscrew and lose, it survives being carried around, and it works with one hand - which matters more in about four months than it does today. Titan at five hundred is Arabica coffee, roasted wood, black pepper, frankincense and leather. Beast at five hundred and forty-nine is smoked whiskey, roasted coffee, spicy leather, amber resin and vanilla bark. Sway at four hundred and fifty-nine is dark cherry, espresso, cocoa, red patchouli and vanilla husk. Siren at four hundred and eighty-nine is black cherry, espresso, warm vanilla and cedar smoke. Sterling at four hundred and sixty-nine is coconut milk, almond nougat, white amber and powdered musk. If he wears something designer and you want the register without the guess, the Inspired By range starts at five hundred and ninety-nine - Tabac Noir is tobacco and vanilla, Khayaal is sparkling bergamot and neroli, Samundar is aquatic and marine, Zaffran is saffron with sweet amber. These are SOSA's own interpretations rather than copies, and naming the inspiration honestly is part of the point. At the premium end there is one gift that is genuinely worth its price for this specific recipient, and it is the SOSA Safar at three thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine rupees - a waterless car perfume diffuser. For somebody about to spend an extraordinary number of hours in a car over the next two years, a proper car fragrance system is a more thoughtful premium gift than almost anything else at that price, and it is completely unlike whatever else he will receive, which is nothing. Nebuliser refills are one thousand and forty-nine rupees for a hundred grams. Two honest notes to close. First, everything above is for him, not for the baby - SOSA makes no products for babies or children, and nothing in this range is intended for a nursery, a cot, a pram or a child's belongings. Second, if you are buying for both parents rather than for him specifically, address a space they share: a coconut-soy candle at three hundred and seventy-nine rupees or a reed diffuser at seven hundred and forty-nine to eight hundred and forty-nine for the living room or the entrance. But if the point is to gift the father, gift the father. He is the only adult in this story that nobody has bought anything for, and that gap is the entire opportunity.

What actually fits his week

Chosen against his actual week rather than against a gift-shop idea of fatherhood. The solid perfume is the one most likely to be used daily, for reasons of format rather than fragrance.

Related: for a first-time father before the baby arrives, fragrance gift for a dad-to-be and for a husband about to become a dad. Also gifts that focus on the parents and the complete guide by relationship and budget. Shop the car perfumes from ₹449, the solid perfumes from ₹459 and the attars from ₹379.

The SOSA return gift ladder

Everything here is handmade in small batches in India, and a portion of every order supports girl-child education through Nanhi Kali. The ladder below runs from the cheapest thing SOSA makes to the tier worth giving close friends. Bulk quantities are quoted on WhatsApp at ₹+91 96192 18531 rather than published, because the right rate depends on quantity, mix and date.

Frequently asked questions